THE FIRST STEP IS ALWAYS THE HARDEST

JUST LIKE EVERYTHING IN LIFE, IT ALL STARTS WITH THAT FIRST STEP. THINK ABOUT IT... WAKING UP IN THE MORNING YOU CAN DECIDE TO SNOOZE IT OR WAKE UP AND GO BRUSH UP. DECIDING WHETHER TO EAT SOMETHING EASY LIKE CEREAL OR MAKE SOME BACON AND EGGS. DECIDING TO START READING A BOOK, LEARNING A NEW LANGUAGE, OR TRYING SOMETHING NEW FOR THE FIRST TIME THAT FIRST STEP IS THE ACT OF ACTUALLY GOING FORWARD AND DOING SOMETHING. EVERYTHING STARTS OFF LIKE THAT AND IT JUST CONTINUES ON UNTIL ITS SECOND NATURE. A BABYS FIRST STEP IS PHYSICALLY THE HARDEST FIRST STEP WE WILL TAKE. LATER IN LIFE DECIDING TO GO TO SCHOOL OR GO BACK TO SCHOOL. FINALLY BUYING A CAR, MOVING OUT. DECIDING TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP, GETTING MARRIED, BUYING A HOUSE, HAVING KIDS, ALL THESE ARE STEPS AND NONE OF WHICH COME EASY. WHAT MOTIVATES YOU ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU TAKE THAT FIRST STEP? THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE A JOB? PERHAPS YOU HAVE RESPONSIBILITIES TO TAKE CARE OF AND ONLY YOU CAN DO IT. WHATEVER IT IS, YOU MADE THE DECISION TO TAKE THAT STEP TO DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO. FOR ME, PERSONALLY, THE REASON IS CHANGE. I WANT A CHANGE IN SOMETHING, I CANT JUST KEEP DOING WHAT IM DOING. I CONSCIOUSLY KNOW THAT SOMETHING HAS TO CHANGE BEFORE OTHER CHANGES CAN OCCUR. EVERYTHING HAPPENS IN STEPS. AFTER I FINISHED SCHOOL I REALLY DIDNT KNOW WHERE TO GO, I MEAN I GOT A JOB BUT IT WASNT WHERE I WANTED TO END UP. I STARTED LOOKING AT SCHOOL AGAIN AND IT WAS HARD TO ACTUALLY TAKE THAT STEP. ESPECIALLY AFTER BEING IN SCHOOL SO LONG, HAVING STUDENT LOANS, AND BASICALLY NOT LIVING MY LIFE THE WAY I WANTED. DEBATED A LOT, AND TOOK A WHILE LOOKING AT WHAT I WANTED TO GO INTO. EVENTUALLY FOUND SOMETHING I LIKED AND KNEW COULD MAKE A LIVING AND JUST WENT FOR IT. TOOK THAT STEP AND REGISTERED AND WENT THROUGH WITH THE PROGRAM. EVERYTHING IS ABOUT THAT FIRST STEP, IF YOU NEVER TRY, HOW WILL YOU EVER KNOW? PEOPLE THESE DAYS ARE JUST TOO COMFORTABLE AND DONT WANT TO LEAVE THEIR COMFORT ZONE. NOTHING EVER WORTH DOING WAS EASY... IF IT WAS THEN EVERYONE WOULD HAVE DONE IT ALREADY. THEN AGAIN A LOT OF PEOPLE THESE DAYS ARE JUST AFRAID TO TRY ANYTHING, NOT KNOWING IF THEY COULD DO IT OR MAKE IT. THEY ARE JUST AFRAID OF WHAT THEY DONT KNOW, SO TO NOT BE AFRAID THEY JUST STAY WHERE THEY ARE AND NEVER TAKING THAT STEP. FEAR OF FAILURE, FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN, FEAR OF DISAPPOINTMENT... NONE OF THESE FEARS ARE REAL... THEY ARE ALL IN YOUR HEAD AND IF YOU CAN GET PAST THAT FEAR, THEN YOU WILL TRULY BE ABLE TO DO ANYTHING YOU WANT. IF YOU ALL REMEMBER A FEW MONTHS BACK FOR MY BDAY POST I MENTIONED THAT I GAVE MYSELF A DEADLINE OF 1 YEAR. NOT MANY PEOPLE KNOW WHAT IT IS AND IVE ONLY TOLD A FEW PEOPLE. ITS A HEFTY GOAL THAT I SET FOR MYSELF, AND ODDS ARE THAT IT CANT BE DONE IN JUST 1 YEAR, BUT LIKE I SAID... IF I NEVER TRY, HOW WILL I EVER KNOW? RIGHT??? THE ENTIRE TIME IVE BEEN WANTING TO START AND I KEEP TELLING MYSELF THAT IM GOING TO START... AND A DAY GOES BY... WEEKS... MONTHS... I KEEP SAYING IM TIRED FROM WORK, OR IM GOING OUT, OR AFTER THIS TV SHOW, OR IM JUST LAZY... AND UP TO A FEW DAYS AGO I STILL HAVENT STARTED... THATS ABOUT 100 DAYS GONE... BUT NOW I CAN ACTUALLY SAY THAT I TOOK THAT FIRST STEP, I TOOK THAT HARDEST STEP AND MOVED FORWARD. NOW THAT I HAVE STARTED, ITS NOT THAT HARD TO CONTINUE, JUST HAVE TO KEEP ON GOING, AND KEEP AT IT. WHO KNOWS... MAYBE IF I KEEP THIS UP THAT 1 YEAR DEADLINE MIGHT ACTUALLY HAPPEN LOL. HAVING SPENT THIS MUCH TIME, MONEY, AND ENERGY ON THIS ALREADY MY ONLY CHOICE IS TO STICK THIS OUT AND SEE WHERE IT LEADS TO. IF IT WORKS OUT THEN GREAT, IF IT DOESNT THEN AT LEAST I CAN SAY I TRIED AND I KNOW. IN THE END NO ONE CAN DO IT FOR YOU. YOU HAVE TO DECIDE FOR YOURSELF IF YOU WANT TO TAKE THAT STEP. ITS GOING TO BE HARD, ITS GOING TO BE SLOW, AT TIMES YOU MIGHT FEEL LIKE GIVING UP, BUT IN THE END JUST REMEMBER, HARD WORK ALWAYS PAYS OFF. SO NO MATTER HOW HARD THAT FIRST STEP MIGHT BE... WHATEVER YOUR SITUATION MAY BE... DO IT FOR YOURSELF AND TAKE IT.

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WHY DO I KEEP WRITING...

IVE BEEN WRITING THIS BLOG FOR 3.5 YEARS NOW... EVERY WEDNESDAY WITHOUT FAIL... SO THE QUESTION IS WHY DO I KEEP WRITING... HONESTLY SOMETIMES I DONT KNOW... SOMETIMES I DONT HAVE A TOPIC OR I FEEL LAZY AND I JUST DONT WANT TO DO IT... BUT I HAVE TO!!! ITS JUST SOMETHING THAT I FEEL HELPS ME. NOT THE FACT THAT I EXPECT TONS OF PEOPLE TO ACTUALLY READ THIS... I DONT EVEN EXPECT 10  PEOPLE TO READ IT... I THINK MAYBE LIKE 5 PEOPLE EVER READ THIS... AND HALF OF THEM ARE PART TIME READERS TOO HAHA. I JUST DO IT FOR MYSELF. ITS SOMETHING THAT GETS WHATEVER IM THINKING OR RANTING ABOUT OUT. SOME PEOPLE READ AND SOME PEOPLE WORK OUT, I WRITE THIS ALL CAPS LOCKED GIANT RUN ON PARAGRAPH LOL. I LIKE BEING ABLE TO PUT MY THOUGHTS OUT AND JUST HAVING IT OUT THERE. I KNOW LOTS OF PEOPLE MAY AGREE AND LOTS MAY DISAGREE BUT THATS NOT THE POINT, THIS IS MY OPINION AND IF YOU DONT LIKE IT THEN LEAVE!!! THE MAIN REASON IVE ACTUALLY KEPT UP WITH THIS WEEK AFTER WEEK IS THAT ITS LIKE A GOAL... YOU HAVE TO WORK HARD AND KEEP AT IT OBTAIN IT, AND I KNOW THAT IF I CAN DEDICATE TIME EVERY WEEK WITHOUT FAIL TO WRITE SOMETHING DOWN AND POST IT THEN I CAN PUT THAT KIND OF ENERGY, EFFORT, MOTIVATION, AND DETERMINATION INTO ANYTHING ELSE I WANT. IF I CAN DO THIS THEN I CAN REALLY DO ANYTHING ELSE I PUT MY MIND TO. ITS AS SIMPLE AS THAT.

OTHER NEWS... OUR FOOTBALL TEAM WON AGAIN :) WE STANDING AT 2-2 AND AFTER WE WIN THIS WEEK WE GOING TO BE 3RD IN THE DIVISION AND GONNA MAKE PLAYOFFS. HALF OF THE TEAM HAS SAID THAT THIS IS WHAT THEY LOOK FORWARD TO ALL WEEK AND THAT THEY CANT WAIT TO PLAY AND I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT I LOVE PLAYING FOOTBALL. OUR TEAM IS JUST AWESOME!!! WE HAVE A GREAT BUNCH OF GUYS WHO GET ALONG WITH EVERYONE AND HAS EACH OTHERS BACK. WE ARE IMPROVING WEEK AFTER WEEK AND YOU SHOULD SEE HOW LOUD I GET AT THE GAMES... ITS SO INTENSE!!! ITS JUST SOMETHING ABOUT PLAYING THAT GETS YOU SO FIRED UP AND READY TO GO. PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN A 5 BLOCK RADIUS OF THE PARK IS ABLE TO HEAR ME... IM NOT EVEN KIDDING... LOL. MY SOCCER TEAM HOWEVER LOST THE QUARTER-FINALS GAME SO NOW WE JUST PLAY FOR PRIDE IN THE CONSOLATION GAMES. WORK.... WELL WORKS BEEN MAD BUSY... MEETINGS ALL OVER THE PLACE AND WORKING LATE EVERYDAY THAT SEEMS TO BE THE NORM... FOR THE PAST FEW MONTHS... I THOUGHT AFTER THE RUSH WHICH WOULD HAVE BEEN FEBRUARY I WOULD BE GOOD... BUT NOPES... THERES A RUSH IN APRIL AND A BIT IN MAY/JUNE ALONG WITH ALL THE OTHER STUFF IN BETWEEN... BUT I CAN SEE THE LIGHT!!! AFTER MID JUNE IT WILL ALL CALM DOWN... I WILL FINALLY HAVE TIME AND BE MORE NORMAL LOL. THERES JUST TOO MUCH TO DO AND TOO LITTLE TIME... AND WITH THAT SAID IM GOING TO SLEEP CAUSE IM TIRED... THEN BACK TO IT AGAIN TOMORROW............

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THOUGHT OBSESSED THOUGHTS

HONESTLY IF YOU CAN BELIEVE IT OR NOT... TODAY THERE REALLY IS NO POST... I COULDNT COME UP WITH A TOPIC AND THE TOPIC I CAME UP WITH TURNS OUT I WROTE ABOUT IT ALREADY... IVE BEEN QUITE BUSY AT WORK THAT I REALLY HAVENT DONE MUCH BESIDES THAT... BETWEEN WORKING LATE AND THE MEETINGS, I COME HOME AND JUST CHILL OUT... EAT A BIT AND WATCH A BIT OF TV BEFORE PASSING OUT... LOL. LAST WEEK WAS A LONG... LONGGGGGGGG WEEK... AT THE END OF LAST WEEK I WAS JUST SO BEAT THAT I NEED TO JUST PARTY IT ALL OUT HAHA. LAST MINUTE DECISION AND ENDED UP GOING TO MARK SIXMA. HIS STYLES A BIT DIFFERENT THAN EVERYTHING ELSE BUT IT WAS A GOOD PARTY. JUST HUNG OUT WITH THE BOYS AND FOR $25 IT WAS WELL WORTH IT. THE RECOVERY THOUGH... LETS JUST SAY IM NOT AS YOUNG AS I USE TO... RECOVERY TIME IS A BIT SLOW NOW... LOL. WELL COMING UP I DO HAVE 2 PARTIES... GET TOGETHER WITH GARETH EMERY, MS54, AND ILAN BLUESTONE WHO I HAVENT SEEN YET AND ITS GONNA BE A GOOD PARTY :) GOT SOME TIME TO RECOVER SINCE ITS GOING TO BE OVER THE FAMILY WEEKEND AND NEXT WEEK I GOT ORJAN NILSEN ONE OF THE DJS I REALLY LIKE AND I FINALLY GET TO SEE HIM TOO WOOOO AND THATS GOING TO BE ON VALENTINES DAY... LOL THATS QUITE INTERESTING... PARTY ON THAT DAY??? WELL NOT LIKE I HAVE ANYTHING ELSE BETTER TO DO OR HAVE ANYONE TO SPEND IT WITH... HAHA........... WAIT... *CRIES A BIT* LOLOL JKJK ACTUALLY IVE BEEN SO BUSY AND FOCUSED ON WORK THE PAST LITTLE WHILE THAT ITS HASNT REALLY BEEN ON MY MIND... I HAVE TONS TO DO RIGHT NOW AND I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT END OF FEBRUARY WILL BE CRAZY BUSY FOR ME... DONT GET ME WRONG I MEAN I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT BUT ITS DIFFERENT... I DONT REALLY KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN IT... WELL I DO... SORTA... BUT HEY THATS FOR ME TO KNOW AND YOU TO FIND OUT HAHA.

BESIDES HOW MUCH FUN WORK IS OCCUPYING MY EVERY THOUGHT... THERES ACTUALLY ANOTHER THOUGHT THATS BEEN ON MY MIND NONSTOP... AND THERES NOT MUCH I CAN REALLY DO ABOUT IT RIGHT NOW... HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT SOMETHING SO MUCH THAT IT CONSUMES YOUR ENTIRE DAY??? THE FIRST THOUGHT IN THE MORNING WHEN YOU WAKE UP, AND THE LAST THOUGHT BEFORE YOU FALL  ASLEEP IS OF THAT... THE THOUGHT JUST POPS UP NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO AND THERES NO WAY TO SHAKE IT... THE MORE YOU TRY, THE HARDER YOU THINK ABOUT IT AND THEN BEFORE YOU REALIZED IT YOU ARE OBSESSING OVER IT AND EVERYTHING ABOUT IT... IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT YOU DO... SOMEHOW THAT AMAZING GREAT BRAIN OF YOURS IS ABLE TO LINK WHATEVER YOU DO TO WHAT YOU ARE OBSESSING OVER... DOESNT MATTER IF YOU ARE WALKING OR DRIVING OR EATING OR WATCHING TV OR PLAYING SPORTS OR WATCHING A MOVIE OR ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING... EVEN OBJECTS... EVERYTHING REMINDS YOU... SOMEHOW YOUR MIND JUST WANDERS BACK TO IT AND YOU WONT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT... WRITING ABOUT IT REALLY DOESNT HELP EITHER SINCE NOW IM FOCUSED SOLELY ON IT... AND I PROBABLY WONT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT... GOOD JOB RICKY... SHOULD YOU JUST STOP THINKING ABOUT IT... WELL YOU CANT... EVEN IF NOTHING REMINDS YOU OF IT, FEELINGS OR EMOTIONS AND JUST GENERAL CURIOSITY WILL BRING YOU BACK TO IT... YOU KNOW WHATS FUNNY... SONGS... SONGS ARE THE WORST!!! EVEN WHEN YOU ARE NOT ACTUALLY THINKING ABOUT IT A SONG AND THEIR LYRICS WILL TRIGGER SOMETHING AND WOOOO HERE WE GO AGAIN... WHAT DO YOU DO... WHAT CAN YOU DO... WHAT SHOULD YOU DO... I GUESS THERES NOT MUCH YOU CAN DO... YOU JUST HAVE TO WAIT... WAIT FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN... WAIT FOR IT TO CLEAR UP... OR DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT... BUT CAN YOU??? WHAT IF ITS NOT UP TO YOU... HOW CAN YOU DO SOMETHING THATS OUTSIDE OF YOUR CONTROL... IS TRYING ENOUGH... IS HOPING ENOUGH... IS ANYTHING ENOUGH... THERES A REASON WHY IT IS SO... AND I GUESS ONCE AGAIN... IT COMES BACK TO MY GOOD OLD FRIEND... TIME...... AND EVENTUALLY... IT WILL WORK ITSELF OUT AND YOU WILL SEE WHAT IT IS FOR WHAT IT IS... BUT UNTIL THAT TIME... I GUESS IL JUST SIT HERE AND OBSESS ABOUT IT...

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AMAZING START TO THE YEAR!!!

WELL AFTER LAST WEEKS POST I WENT TO SLEEP AND WOKE UP EARLY TO GO TO MY EXAM. WHILE DRIVING I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO FOCUSED IN MY LIFE!!! I SO WAS READY TO GO INTO THE EXAM AND DESTROY IT. I GO IN AND I GET MYSELF READY, THEN THE LADY COMES TO SIGN ME INTO THE COMPUTER AND SHE TELLS ME THAT I CANT USE MY OWN PERSONAL PEN OR PENCIL FOR THE EXAM AND THAT I NEED TO USE THE PROVIDED ONE... SO SHE TOOK IT AND SAID THAT I COULD PICK IT UP FROM THE FRONT DESK WHEN I FINISH MY EXAM. I WENT THROUGH THE EXAM 3 TIMES TO MAKE SURE I WAS GOOD BUT AFTERWARDS COUNTING UP THE ONES THAT I WASNT SURE ABOUT... MADE ME A LITTLE BIT UNSURE AS WELL... LOL. ANYWAYS... FAST FORWARD 3 HOURS LATER... I FINISH AND GO TO CLAIM MY PEN AND PENCIL... SHE SAYS ITS RIGHT THERE... NO... ITS NOT... WTF... ITS NOT ON THE SIDE... ITS NOT IN THE BOX... ITS NOT IN THE DRAWER... ITS NOT IN THE CASE... ITS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND... WTF!>!?!@>?!#>$??@?! SOMEONE STOLE MY FREAKING PEN AND PENCIL!!!!!!!!!! WHAT IS THIS!!!!!!!!!! OMG... SO ONLY 3 PEOPLE LEFT THE EXAM BEFORE ME AND THEY SAID WOULD YOU LIKE US TO CALL THEM TO CHECK... OF COURSE I WANT YOU TO CHECK!!! YOURE THE REASON WHY ITS GONE!!! 2 OF THEM PICK UP AND SAID THEY DONT HAVE IT BUT THE THIRD PERSON DIDNT ANSWER... THAT MEANS ITS HIM!!!!! HE STOLE MY AMAZING PEN AND PENCIL!!!!!!!!!! SIGH... :( I LEFT DETAILED DESCRIPTION REGARDING THE PEN AND PENCIL AND TOLD THEM TO CALL ME... WHICH THEY HAVENT SOOO BASICALLY ITS GONE :( ITS THE JAPANESE STYLE BLUE GEL INK PEN THATS SUPER SMOOTH. THE PENCIL IS ANOTHER JAPANESE MECHANICAL LED PENCIL WITH GRIP... THAT... I... ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSE LEFT WITH FROM SOMEWHERE OVER 5 YEARS AGO LOLOL YES YES... BASICALLY SOMEONE STOLE THE PENCIL I STOLE HAHA. WELL THATS KARMA FOR YOU EH BUT MY PENS GONE... OH WELL. ANYWAYS THATS NOT THE MAIN POINT HERE... I THINK I DID WELL... I HOPE I DID WELL... I REALLY HAD NO CHOICE... I HAD TO MAKE IT!!! SO AT WORK FRIDAY IT WAS THE MOMENT OF TRUTH... I FINALLY CHECKED IT ANDDDDDDDDDDDDD WOOOOOOOOO :) I PASSED LOL ALL THAT HARD WORK FINALLY PAID OFF!!! ITS LIKE A WEIGHT WAS FINALLY LIFTED... YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH PRESSURE YOU PUT ON YOURSELF TO GET SOMETHING YOU WANT... IT TAKES SO MUCH OUT OF YOU JUST TO TRY AND GET IT AND THE FEELINGS AMAZING FINALLY GETTING TO THE POINT THAT YOU WANT. OH YA AND WITH THIS I ALSO GOT PROMOTED AT WORK!!! :) WOOOOO I AM HAVING A GREAT START TO THE NEW YEAR :)

NOW THAT IVE FINISH ALL THIS AND EVERYTHING ELSE I CAN FINALLY START DOING EVERYTHING ELSE THAT I WANT :) THIS WAS ONLY 1 OF THE MANY THINGS I HAVE ON MY LIST OF THINGS TO TRY AND ACCOMPLISH THIS YEAR, BUT YOU ALWAYS NEED TO MAKE THE FIRST STEP IN GOING FORWARD TO ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING. THIS WAS THE LAST SCHOOLING THAT I WILL EVER EVER FREAKING DO!!! NEVER!!! NO MORE!!! THATS IT!!!!!!!!!!! I WILL NEVER GO BACK TO SCHOOL EVER AGAIN............!!!!!!!!!!!! UNLESS... I END UP BEING SOOOOO SMART AND GOING BACK TO LEARN SOMETHING ELSE... WHY DO I KEEP DOING THIS TO MYSELF... MEH MAYBE I JUST LOVE BEING IN SCHOOL... THAT CANT BE IT... MORE LIKE I JUST LOVE PUTTING MYSELF THROUGH THE PAIN OF LEARNING LOL. WELL... I DO WANNA LEARN DUTCH AND GERMAN AND RUSSIAN... SOOO I GUESS THATS NEXT ON THE LIST OF THINGS TO GO TO SCHOOL FOR HAHA. IVE BEEN TO ALL THE BIG 3 SCHOOLS IN THIS TOWN... SO LETS SEE WHATS NEXT EH... HAHA. NOW, TIME TO GO AND ENJOY MYSELF AND DO WHAT I WANT TO DO... LIKE CATCH UP ON ALL MY TV SHOWS THAT IVE BEEN NEGLECTING FOR THE PAST MONTHS HAHA. REST OF MY LIFE??? JUST HANGING OUT WITH FRIENDS AND ENJOYING MYSELF. COULDNT ASK FOR ANYTHING BETTER :)

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LIFES COMPLICATED

LIFES COMPLICATED... NEED I SAY MORE??? PRETTY STRAIGHT FORWARD... HONESTLY IF WE COULD JUST DO AND SAY AND HAVE WHAT WE WANT THEN THE WORLD WOULD BE AN EVEN WORSE PLACE EH HAHA. ITS BECAUSE ITS SO COMPLICATED THAT WE WORK SO HARD TO TRY TO GET WHAT WE WANT AND DESERVE. I GUESS IN A WAY THIS TIES INTO LAST WEEKS POST ABOUT SOCIETY, SINCE SOCIETY IS THE ONE THATS ALWAYS TELLING US WHAT WE SHOULD BE, AND FROM THAT WE TRY TO GET THERE BUT LIFES SO MESSED UP AND COMPLICATED THAT WE NEVER GET THERE AND ITS THERE WHERE THE IMBALANCE OCCURS. WHEN THAT HAPPENS IT JUST GETS WORSE AND WORSE IN A CONSTANT LOOP THAT NEVER BREAKS... WHICH JUST DRIVES US EVEN MORE INTO INSANITY. THEN THERES THE OTHER SIDE WHERE WE DO EVERYTHING THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE, SAY ALL THE RIGHT THINGS TO SAY AND LIFE JUST DOESNT GO YOUR WAY. NO MATTER WHAT THERES ALWAYS SOMETHING OUTSIDE OF YOUR CONTROL. YOU CANT CONTROL EVERYTHING NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU THINK YOU CAN. LIFES COMPLICATED... PEOPLE ARE COMPLICATED... EVERYTHING IS COMPLICATED... EVERYONE  HAS THEIR OWN ISSUES THAT MAKE THEM COMPLICATED WHICH JUST MAKES EVERYTHING ELSE COMPLICATED WHEN THEY BRING THEIR COMPLICATIONS INTO THINGS. WE ALL JUST NEED TO UNCOMPLICATE THINGS... CHOICES IN LIFE ARE COMPLICATED... EVERYTHING IS COMPLICATED... EVEN MY THOUGHTS RIGHT NOW ARE COMPLICATED AND THE WORDS ARENT COMING OUT THE WAY I WANT... LETS JUST SAY... LIFES COMPLICATED... SO IM GOING TO SLEEP!!!

MAN... WORK SURELY HAS BEEN KICKING MY ASS LATELY LOL. MEETINGS AFTER MEETINGS AND DEADLINES AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN. LAST WEEK BEST EXAMPLE WAS GETTING INTO WORK AND GOING THEN GOING TO DELTA FOR A FEW HOURS... COME BACK TO THE OFFICE ONLY TO LOOK AT A FEW EMAILS AND THEN GO TO A 4 HOUR MEETING... IN MANDARIN... YAY... GET BACK TO WORK AT 4:40PM... AND GUESS WHAT... WORK STILL NEEDS TO BE DONE SON!!! SO STAYED TIL PAST 8PM JUST TO CATCH UP. THIS WEEK SO FAR ITS A MEETING EVERYDAY OR OT OR WHATEVER ELSE I GOT GOING ON... BUT ITS ACTUALLY OK KIND OF BUSY... I KNOW ITS WEIRD BUT I LIKE THIS KIND OF BUSY COMPARED TO MY LAST JOB WHICH MOST OF YOU MIGHT REMEMBER WAS HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THOSE WERE DARK TIMES BUT THANKFULLY THEY ARE LONG GONE HAHA. NOT MUCH ON ANYTHING ELSE CEPT BEING WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY. THERE PROBABLY IS OTHER STUFF BUT IF THERE IS IM JUST TIRED AND LAZY TO WRITE MORE :) LOL.

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FEEL THE WAY YOU FEEL

FEELINGS... EMOTIONS... THEY SURE ARE A FUNNY THING EH. YOU GO THOUGH YOUR DAY FEELING ALL SORTS OF EMOTIONS AND SOMETIMES EVEN WITHOUT KNOWING WHY YOU FEEL THE WAY YOU DO... LATELY IVE BEEN IN A RUT... IN THAT WEIRD MOOD THAT SOMETIMES CANT BE EXPLAINED... ALSO A SHORTER TEMPER... IT SEEMS THAT JUST EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING ANNOYS ME. SOMETIMES YOU JUST WANT TO GET AWAY FROM IT ALL AND JUST BE BY YOURSELF. FEELINGS CAN MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT SOMETHING OR MAKE YOU FILLED WITH RAGE ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE. IT CAN HELP YOU AT TIMES AND IT CAN BE YOUR ENEMY AT TIME. SOMETIMES DOESNT IT SEEM EASIER IF YOU COULD JUST TURN IT ALL OFF AND FORGET ABOUT IT? I GUESS THATS WHAT MAKES US HUMAN... THE ABILITY TO FEEL... IT MAKES US HAPPY, IT MAKES US MOTIVATED, IT MAKES US PASSIONATE, IT MAKES US ANGRY, IT MAKES US DISAPPOINTED, AND IT MAKES US SAD. EVER WONDER WHY YOU FEEL THE WAY YOU FEEL? OR HOW YOU CAME TO THE CONCLUSION OF WHY YOU FEEL THE WAY YOU FEEL? IS IT BECAUSE OF PAST EXPERIENCES? IS IT BECAUSE OF WHAT SOMEONE TOLD YOU? SOMETIMES THE REASON IS SO FAR GONE THAT YOU DONT EVEN REMEMBER WHY YOU FEEL THAT WAY. SHOULD YOU THEN RECONSIDER FEELING DIFFERENTLY? THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN CHANGE THE WAY YOU FEEL IS TIME. ONCE AGAIN IT ALL HAS TO DO WITH TIME. WITH ENOUGH TIME FEELINGS GO AWAY AND FEELINGS CHANGE. DONT YOU JUST WISH SOMETIMES YOU CAN SKIP SOME OF THE FEELINGS YOU GET? I SUPPOSE IN THE END, AS LONG AS YOU HAVE LEARNT SOMETHING FROM FEELING THE WAY YOU DO THEN ITS THAT REALLY THE POINT? LESSON LEARNT AND REMEMBERED.

HMM... I REALLY WONDER WHAT IM WRITING ABOUT SOMETIMES... IT JUST FEELS LIKE IM RUNNING OUT OF THINGS TO WRITE OR THAT I CANT JUST EXPRESS IT ALL OUT IN WORDS... I NEED TO DO AN INTERPRETATIVE DANCE TO SHOW YOU ALL :) LOL. THESE TRUELY ARE THE RANDOM RAMBLINGS OF RICKY.

FRESH WATERMELON MARGARITAS. IT WAS OK... DIDNT REALLY LIKE IT HAHA 

CLIENT LUNCHES RULE :)

MY BURGER

THIS IS HOW CLEAR AND HOW BLUE THE SKY WAS

OMG LAMB SOOOO GOOD!!!

2 SPICY THIGH BURGER AND 20 JALAPEÑO POPPERS :)

SWAN E SET BAY RESORT FOR MY FRIENDS WEDDING 

NICE DRIVE IN

COUNTRY CLUB HEHE

OUR TABLE 12 :)

THE BACKDROP FOR THE RECEPTION

THE CENTREPIECE 

ROUND 1 - NOMSSSSSSSSSS

MMMMM RARENESS SO GOOD

ROUND 2 - STILL GOING STRONG HEHE

DESSERT TABLE

PRETTY FLOWERS. I DIDNT GET TO TAKE THEM HOME THOUGH... SOMEONE ELSE WON IT BUT TECHNICALLY THEY SAID 2 TO THE LEFT OF THE PERSON WITH THE STICKER... WHICH WOULD HAVE BEEN MY FRD BUT THE PPL ACROSS FROM US TOOK IT... WAY TO PAY ATTENTION :P PSH

COOL SEE THROUGH ON THE OUTSIDE OF THE CAR, IT WAS THERE WHILE I WAS DRIVING BUT I LOST IT WHEN I HIT THE HIGHWAY... HAHA I DONT THINK IT MADE IT LOL

COOL DUDE THAT I DUNO WHERE IT CAME FROM... BUT IT WAS READY TO KICK ASS LOL

WAS TOO HUNGRY... SO BLURRY PIC CAUSE I WANTED TO EAT IT HAHA

XLB :) 

SOMETHING COD LOL

FATTY PORK :) MMMMM SOOOO FAT IT JUST MELTS IN YOUR MOUTH LIKE BUTTER HAHA

MMM YUMMY

PAN FRIED BUN

DUCK RICE HEHE

SPIDER ACROSS 2 TRESS... IT WILL NEVER GO HUNGRY... THOSE DOTS AROUND IT WERE ALL CAUGHT LOLOL 

GG COMP... G...G...

SORRY... SAY WHAT? I CANT PAY ATTENTION LOL

WORKS BEEN BUSY... COWORKER ON VACA AND ANOTHER COWORKER LEFT... SO ME AND MY BUDDY IS BASICALLY DOING 4 PEOPLES JOBS YAY... STAYED LATE A FEW TIMES THIS WEEK JUST CAUSE I GOT TOO MUCH TO DO. NOT TO MENTION GONG TO THOSE CLIENT LUNCHES. DONT GET ME WRONG... I LOVE THOSE!!! JUST SOMETIMES IT KILLS TOO MUCH TIME AND YOU WANT TO GET BACK TO FINISH ALL THE THINGS YOU NEED TO DO.

WENT TO MY OLD FRIENDS WEDDING ON THE WEEKEND. IT WAS IN PITT MEADOWS SO HAD A NICE LITTLE DRIVE OUT TO THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE... LOL. IT WAS AT A COUNTRY CLUB SO YOU KNOW IT WOULD BE NICE LOOKING. IT WAS ACTUALLY REALLY PRETTY AND THE FOOD WAS GREAT. I ATE TILL I COULDNT EAT ANYMORE. TOOK LOTS OF PHOTOBOOTH PICS TOO. A WEIRD THING WAS THAT ALL THEIR POP WAS FLAT... EVEN NEW CANS THAT THEY WERE OPENING... THEY OPENED IT, POURED IT, I DRANK IT... ANDDDDDDDDDDDD ITS FLAT... WTF... OH OH OH AND I KNOW BOTH THE BRIDE AND GROOM AND THEY BOTH HAD 10 BRIDESMAIDS/GROOMSMEN EACH!!! IT WAS INSANE LOL.

WELL... CLASS STARTS TOMORROW WOOO :) MY LAST COURSE FOR THIS PROGRAM YAY :) GONNA BE EVEN MORE BUSY NOW HAHA. JUST ONE THING AFTER ANOTHER EH... JUST WAITING AND HOPING TO SEE THAT LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL. NO... NOT THAT TUNNEL... BUT YES CANT WAIT TIL I REACH THAT FINISH LINE. ALL IN DUE TIME EH. 

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THAT TIME OF THE YEAR AGAIN

WELL... IT SEEMS THAT ITS THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN... NO, NOT CHRISTMAS... BUT BIRTHDAY. HONESTLY ITS TRUE... THE OLDER YOU GET THE LESS YOU CARE AND THE MORE YOU STRESS HAHA. I SEEM FINE BUT SOME OF MY OTHER BUDDIES STARTING TO HIT THAT AGE WHERE ITS LIKE YA... UMMM LETS NOT REMIND EACH OTHER HAHA. DAYS GO BY AND EVENTUALLY WE END BACK UP HERE. SO ALMOST ANOTHER 365 DAYS HAS PAST AND GONE AND I MUST SAY THAT THIS YEAR SURE WAS AN INTERESTING ONE... THROUGH EVERYTHING THAT IVE DONT AND GONE THROUGH IVE FINALLY ARRIVED AT A PLACE THAT MAKES ME HAPPY. SO I GUESS HERES SOME HIGHLIGHTS FROM LAST BIRTHDAY TIL THIS ONE:

• FOUND A JOB, LEFT THAT JOB... LOL
• GOT THE JOB THAT I NOW LOVE
• GOT CLOSER WITH MY FRIENDS
• MET NEW PEOPLE
• HAD A RELATIONSHIP
• KEPT WITH THE HR PROGRAM
• GOT TO KNOW MYSELF BETTER
• THINGS FINALLY COMING TOGETHER
• PARTIED SO FREAKING HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I MEAN THERES LOTS MORE BUT JUST THE HIGHLIGHTS. IM HAPPY FOR EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED THIS YEAR AND ONCE AGAIN ITS BECAUSE OF IT THAT IT HAS BROUGHT ME TO THE PLACE THAT I AM TODAY. IM FINALLY AT A PLACE WHERE I CAN DO WHAT I WANT AND NEED TO GET DONE. JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE TIME AND IL FINALLY GET IT ALL LOL.

SO HOWS THE MONTH GOING SO FAR? WELL I WAS BEHIND SCHEDULE FOR A BIT BUT THE LONG WEEKEND ALLOWED ME TO CATCH UP. I LITERALLY DID SO MUCH WORK DURING THE WEEKEND I COULDNT BELIEVE IT. CAUGHT UP A LOT BUT STILL HAVE A LOT TO DO TO BE PREPARED. LIKE I SAID YOU GOTTA DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO, AND CAUSE OF IT I REALLY AM NOT GOING OUT MUCH THIS MONTH. KEEP ON GRINDING. AUGUST IS THE WORST MONTH TOO CAUSE I HAVE SO MANY OF MY FRIENDS BDAYS AND MINE AND NOT TO MENTION THE FACT ITS AUGUST... BUT HEY, KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE PRIZE, STARING AT THAT FINISH LINE. THENNNNNN I CAN DO WHAT I WANT LOL. WORKS BEEN BUSY, BEEN RUNNING AROUND ALL THE TIME. JUST TODAY I WAS ALL OVER THE PLACE AND ITS ALSO HOT TOO... OH AND I WASNT EVEN IN MY OWN CAR CAUSE THATS IN THE SHOP FOR CHECK UP SOOO IM USING A COURTESY CAR AND DAM... ITS UMMM BEATED UP LOL. 

I CANT BELIEVE I HAVENT PARTIED LATELY!!! OMG!!! ITS UNBELIEVABLE!!! JUST PARTIED OUT... FOR NOW I GUESS HAHA. ALSO GOTTA FOCUS ON WHAT I NEED TO GET DONE RIGHT NOW. I GUESS THATS WHY THERES NOT MUCH TO WRITE ABOUT... WELL THERE ARE TOPICS I WANNA WRITE ABOUT BUT MEH YOU KNOW... LOL MAYBE IL WRITE IT AFTERALL LOLOLOL. ACTUALLY I THINK I WROTE ABOUT THIS ALREADY... OR ON SOME SIMILAR LINE. WELL IL JUST SAY IT AGAIN THEN :) THE THINGS YOU DO IN LIFE IS ALWAYS A TRADE OFF. EITHER TO DO THIS OR TO DO THAT. TO GET THIS OR TO GET THAT. ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS. LIKE RIGHT NOW WELL IM TRADING OF PARTYING AND HAVING FUN TO STUDY AND PASS MY LICENSING... WHICH LEADS TO LOTS OF FUTURE PARTYING LOL. SOME TRADE OFF HAPPINESS FOR MONEY AND OTHERS TRADE OFF TIME FOR OTHERS. EVERYTHING IN LIFE IS A TRADE OFF. IT JUST DEPENDS WEATHER OR NOT YOU ARE TRADING OFF THE RIGHT THING FOR THE OTHER. WHICH LEADS ME TO ASK CAN YOU REALLY HAVE IT ALL??? I THINK SO... I MEAN PERSONALLY I WOULD NEVER SETTLE. WHO WOULD? AND I SUGGEST YOU NEVER SETTLE EITHER. YOU DESERVE THE BEST SO WHY NOT REACH FOR IT. IT MIGHT TAKE YOU LONGER THAN EXPECTED BUT SOONER OR LATER, EVENTUALLY IT WILL APPEAR BEFORE YOU, IF YOU HAVE THE DRIVE AND WANT FOR IT. THATS WHAT HAPPENED TO ME, I GOT TO ONE POINT IN MY LIFE WHERE I WANT. WITH THAT SAID ALWAYS KEEP MOVING FORWARD, ALWAYS KEEP SEARCHING, NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER SURRENDER :) SO I GUESS I DID END UP TALKING ABOUT IT HAHA.  

NOMSSSSS LOL

MY BLACK PEN BROKE :( NOW IM USING A BABY BLUE ONE LOL

ANTS GOING CRAZY OVER... CANDY??? WHATEVER THAT THING IS LOL

XLB!!!

MMMM FATTY THINGY YUMMMM

DEEP FRIED CHICKEN HEHE

BIG CAN OF FROZEN ICE TEA AND ORGANIC BEER. IT WAS REALLY COLD... LIKE FROZEN ICED COLD AND I COULDNT EVEN REALLY HOLD IT LONG TO TAKE A PIC HAHAHAHA

CHURCHES COUPON FOR BOGO SPICY CHICKEN THIGH AND DOUBLE YOUR ORDER FOR JALAPEÑO BOMBERS OMG THE BURGER IS HOT HEHE BUT GOOOOD 

HEY LITTLE... WELL... NOT REALLY LITTLE... JUST THERE... HAHA

THE INFAMOUS LA CHICKEN... NOTHING REALLY SPECIAL... I DONT GET IT... IT WAS OK

HONESTLY, IVE GROWN A LOT AND MATURED A LOT THIS YEAR. IVE ALSO BEEN TOLD THAT BY PEOPLE I SEE RARELY. YOU GET TO A POINT WHERE YOU JUST HAVE TO CHANGE. THE VIEWS YOU TAKE JUST SHIFT. I GUESS IT ALSO HAS TO DO WITH YOUR PRIORITIES AND GOALS. I STILL HAVE A LOT OF GOALS I WANT TO BE ABLE TO ACHIEVE. 

SO I WAS TAKING A BREAK THE OTHER DAY AND GUESS WHAT I STARTED WATCHING AGAIN??? NARUTO SHIPPUDEN!!!!!!!!!!! LOL THIS TIME IM SKILLING ALL THE FILLERS AND GOING STRAIGHT TO THE MAIN STORYLINE. BURNING THROUGH IT PRETTY FAST ACTUALLY, BUT STILL GOT OVER 150 EPS SO THATS GOOD LOL. I WONDER HOW MANY ARE FILLERS THOUGH... SHOULD REALLY CHECK HOW MANY IN THE MAIN ARC... LOL. I GUESS WHEN I RUN OUT I CAN GO BACK TO BLEACH AND FAIRY TAIL LOL. 

OH AND WHAT AM I DOING FOR MY BDAY YOU MIGHT HAVE ASKED? WELL FRIDAY FAMILY DINNER AS USUAL, SOME OF MY FRIENDS WANT TO GET ME DRUNK BUT LIKE MANY OF YOU KNOW... I DONT DRINK... WELL I DONT LIKE IT HAHA. YA FUNNY EH CAUSE I ALWAYS PARTY TOO. JUST ENOUGH DRINKING TO HAVE FUN AND NOT GET SLOSHED HAHA. SO FRIDAY IS STILL UP IN THE AIR AND IL JUST WING IT... OR MAYBE COME HOME AND STUDY :) SATURDAY IM GONNA STUDY FOR SURE!!! UNLESS IM HUNGOVER... LOL BUT YA SATURDAY NIGHT DINNER WITH MY FRIENDS. I NEVER LIKED BIG PARTIES AND HONESTLY I REALLY RATHER JUST HAVE A NICE SMALL DINNER. THATS WHAT I LIKE LOL ONCE AGAIN FUNNY BECAUSE I LIKE TO PARTY SO I BUT I ONLY WANT A SMALL PARTY FOR MY OWN BDAY... AFTER DINNER??? SOMETHING RANDOM LIKE GOOD OLD BOWLING!!! HAHA BUT WE SHALL SEE ABOUT THAT. USUALLY WE END UP MAKING BETS AND 1 BET THATS ALWAYS BEEN STANDING IS WHOEVER BEATS ME IN BOWLING, IL DRINK. THAT USUALLY IS ABLE TO LIMIT ME TO 1... OR 2... DRINK HEHE. WOOOO :) SO WE SHALL SEE CAUSE I REALLY WANTED TO GO ARCHERY TAG AND SHOOT MY FRIENDS IN THE HEAD... BUT DONT THINK THATS GONNA HAPPEN NOW... HAHA MAYBE NEXT TIME ;)

RT