TALKING TO YOURSELF

EVERYONE TALKS TO THEMSELVES, AND IF YOU SAY YOU DONT THEN YOURE JUST LYING. EVERYONE TALKS TO THEMSELVES IN SOME FORM OR ANOTHER. YOU CAN JUST BE TALKING TO YOURSELF TRYING TO FIGURE OUT THE ANSWER TO A PROBLEM, OR TALKING TO YOURSELF TO MENTALLY PREPARE YOURSELF FOR SOMETHING. THERES JUST TOO MANY INSTANCES THAT IM JUST NOT GOING TO BOTHER WRITING THEM ALL. TALKING TO YOURSELF CAN BE CALMING AS WELL, BUT IM MORE INTERESTED IN THE FULL ON CONVERSATIONS YOU HAVE WITH YOURSELF. THE TYPE THAT YOU TALK FOR THE OTHER PERSON TOO AND REACT FOR THEM TOO. LIKE THE ONES WHERE YOU KNOW THERES GOING TO BE A CONFRONTATION AND TRYING TO FIGHT FOR YOUR POINT. OR THE ONES WHERE YOU JUST PLAY OUT A SITUATION AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS. THE FUNNY THING IS THAT THE RESPONSES IN YOUR HEAD ARE OF THE PERFECT RESPONSES THAT FIT YOUR VIEW OF THE SITUATION. IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN LIKE IT WILL IN YOUR HEAD, BECAUSE YOU ARE YOU AND YOU ARE NOT THEM. HUMANS ARE THE MOST UNPREDICTABLE CREATURES IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE. YOU CANNOT PREDICT WHAT THEY WILL SAY OR DO. YOU CAN PLAY EVERY POSSIBLE SCENARIO OUT IN YOUR HEAD BUT WHEN IT COMES TO THAT MOMENT, IT WILL NEVER GO THE WAY YOU THINK IT WILL. YOU CANNOT SEE HOW THEIR THOUGHT PROCESS WORKS AND HOW THEY WILL CONNECT THE THINGS YOU SAY TO THEIR OWN VIEW OF THE SITUATION AND REACT. YOU CAN THINK YOURE RIGHT ALL THE WAY AND THEY COULD THROW A WRENCH IN THE WHOLE THING AND TURN IT ALL UPSIDE DOWN. IF THATS THE CASE THEN WHY DO WE EVEN BOTHER TALKING TO OURSELVES... MAYBE ITS A COPING MECHANISM BECAUSE WE KNOW THAT THE PERFECT RESPONSE WILL NEVER HAPPEN, MAYBE ITS TO GIVE US HOPE OF WHAT COULD BE, MAYBE ITS A VISION OF ANOTHER REALITY THAT IT ACTUALLY HAPPENS. PERSONALLY... I TALK TO MYSELF ALL THE TIME. I LOVE HEARING MYSELF TALK LOL. WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF YOU ALL? ANY OF YOU TALK TO YOURSELVES? HOW ABOUT TALKING TO YOURSELF TO THE POINT WHERE YOU LOSE? THAT WOULD BE INTERESTING...

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THOUGHT OBSESSED THOUGHTS

HONESTLY IF YOU CAN BELIEVE IT OR NOT... TODAY THERE REALLY IS NO POST... I COULDNT COME UP WITH A TOPIC AND THE TOPIC I CAME UP WITH TURNS OUT I WROTE ABOUT IT ALREADY... IVE BEEN QUITE BUSY AT WORK THAT I REALLY HAVENT DONE MUCH BESIDES THAT... BETWEEN WORKING LATE AND THE MEETINGS, I COME HOME AND JUST CHILL OUT... EAT A BIT AND WATCH A BIT OF TV BEFORE PASSING OUT... LOL. LAST WEEK WAS A LONG... LONGGGGGGGG WEEK... AT THE END OF LAST WEEK I WAS JUST SO BEAT THAT I NEED TO JUST PARTY IT ALL OUT HAHA. LAST MINUTE DECISION AND ENDED UP GOING TO MARK SIXMA. HIS STYLES A BIT DIFFERENT THAN EVERYTHING ELSE BUT IT WAS A GOOD PARTY. JUST HUNG OUT WITH THE BOYS AND FOR $25 IT WAS WELL WORTH IT. THE RECOVERY THOUGH... LETS JUST SAY IM NOT AS YOUNG AS I USE TO... RECOVERY TIME IS A BIT SLOW NOW... LOL. WELL COMING UP I DO HAVE 2 PARTIES... GET TOGETHER WITH GARETH EMERY, MS54, AND ILAN BLUESTONE WHO I HAVENT SEEN YET AND ITS GONNA BE A GOOD PARTY :) GOT SOME TIME TO RECOVER SINCE ITS GOING TO BE OVER THE FAMILY WEEKEND AND NEXT WEEK I GOT ORJAN NILSEN ONE OF THE DJS I REALLY LIKE AND I FINALLY GET TO SEE HIM TOO WOOOO AND THATS GOING TO BE ON VALENTINES DAY... LOL THATS QUITE INTERESTING... PARTY ON THAT DAY??? WELL NOT LIKE I HAVE ANYTHING ELSE BETTER TO DO OR HAVE ANYONE TO SPEND IT WITH... HAHA........... WAIT... *CRIES A BIT* LOLOL JKJK ACTUALLY IVE BEEN SO BUSY AND FOCUSED ON WORK THE PAST LITTLE WHILE THAT ITS HASNT REALLY BEEN ON MY MIND... I HAVE TONS TO DO RIGHT NOW AND I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT END OF FEBRUARY WILL BE CRAZY BUSY FOR ME... DONT GET ME WRONG I MEAN I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT BUT ITS DIFFERENT... I DONT REALLY KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN IT... WELL I DO... SORTA... BUT HEY THATS FOR ME TO KNOW AND YOU TO FIND OUT HAHA.

BESIDES HOW MUCH FUN WORK IS OCCUPYING MY EVERY THOUGHT... THERES ACTUALLY ANOTHER THOUGHT THATS BEEN ON MY MIND NONSTOP... AND THERES NOT MUCH I CAN REALLY DO ABOUT IT RIGHT NOW... HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT SOMETHING SO MUCH THAT IT CONSUMES YOUR ENTIRE DAY??? THE FIRST THOUGHT IN THE MORNING WHEN YOU WAKE UP, AND THE LAST THOUGHT BEFORE YOU FALL  ASLEEP IS OF THAT... THE THOUGHT JUST POPS UP NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO AND THERES NO WAY TO SHAKE IT... THE MORE YOU TRY, THE HARDER YOU THINK ABOUT IT AND THEN BEFORE YOU REALIZED IT YOU ARE OBSESSING OVER IT AND EVERYTHING ABOUT IT... IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT YOU DO... SOMEHOW THAT AMAZING GREAT BRAIN OF YOURS IS ABLE TO LINK WHATEVER YOU DO TO WHAT YOU ARE OBSESSING OVER... DOESNT MATTER IF YOU ARE WALKING OR DRIVING OR EATING OR WATCHING TV OR PLAYING SPORTS OR WATCHING A MOVIE OR ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING... EVEN OBJECTS... EVERYTHING REMINDS YOU... SOMEHOW YOUR MIND JUST WANDERS BACK TO IT AND YOU WONT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT... WRITING ABOUT IT REALLY DOESNT HELP EITHER SINCE NOW IM FOCUSED SOLELY ON IT... AND I PROBABLY WONT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT... GOOD JOB RICKY... SHOULD YOU JUST STOP THINKING ABOUT IT... WELL YOU CANT... EVEN IF NOTHING REMINDS YOU OF IT, FEELINGS OR EMOTIONS AND JUST GENERAL CURIOSITY WILL BRING YOU BACK TO IT... YOU KNOW WHATS FUNNY... SONGS... SONGS ARE THE WORST!!! EVEN WHEN YOU ARE NOT ACTUALLY THINKING ABOUT IT A SONG AND THEIR LYRICS WILL TRIGGER SOMETHING AND WOOOO HERE WE GO AGAIN... WHAT DO YOU DO... WHAT CAN YOU DO... WHAT SHOULD YOU DO... I GUESS THERES NOT MUCH YOU CAN DO... YOU JUST HAVE TO WAIT... WAIT FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN... WAIT FOR IT TO CLEAR UP... OR DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT... BUT CAN YOU??? WHAT IF ITS NOT UP TO YOU... HOW CAN YOU DO SOMETHING THATS OUTSIDE OF YOUR CONTROL... IS TRYING ENOUGH... IS HOPING ENOUGH... IS ANYTHING ENOUGH... THERES A REASON WHY IT IS SO... AND I GUESS ONCE AGAIN... IT COMES BACK TO MY GOOD OLD FRIEND... TIME...... AND EVENTUALLY... IT WILL WORK ITSELF OUT AND YOU WILL SEE WHAT IT IS FOR WHAT IT IS... BUT UNTIL THAT TIME... I GUESS IL JUST SIT HERE AND OBSESS ABOUT IT...

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