WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT?

OKAY... SO I HAD LIKE 3 IDEAS FOR TOPIC THIS WEEK BUT THEN I SORTA FORGOT ABOUT THEM AND I DONT REALLY FEEL LIKE WRITING ABOUT WHAT I HAVE ON MY MIND SO THATS SAVED FOR ANOTHER DAY... UNTIL I FORGET ABOUT IT AGAIN HAHA. ANYWAYS... THIS HAS BEEN TOUCHED UPON IN THE PAST BUT LATELY ITS BEEN COMING BACK INTO MY HEAD AND IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT QUITE A BIT. SO WHAT DO YOU WANT? I MEAN WHAT DO I WANT? THATS THE HARDEST QUESTION TO ANSWER. IVE HAD AN IDEA OF WHAT I WANT FOR THE LONGEST TIME BUT THINGS KEEP HAPPENING AND CHANGING THAT WHAT I WANT KEEPS CHANGING ALONG WITH IT. RIGHT NOW, WHAT IS IT THAT I REALLY WANT? I DONT THINK THERES REALLY ANYTHING I REALLY WANT EXCEPT WHERE I REALLY WANT TO GET TO. EVERYTHING I WANT IS MORE OF THE MATERIALISTIC THING BUT DONT EVERYONE WANT MATERIALISTIC THINGS? THATS REALLY WANT WE WANT, BUT WHAT DO WE REALLY NEED? SOME PEOPLE WANT NICE CARS AND A BIG HOUSE BUT DO WE REALLY NEED IT? WHAT I REALLY WANT IS TO BE IN THE POSITION I WANT, DOING WHAT I WANT, AND NOT ANSWERING TO ANYONE. IM WORKING ON THAT BUT LATELY IT JUST SEEMS LIKE ITS BEEN GETTING PUSHED FURTHER AND FURTHER AWAY. THE MOTIVATION AND DETERMINATION IS STILL THERE, JUST THAT THE TIME AND ENERGY IS NOT. BETWEEN WORK, LIFE, FAMILY, AND ALL THE RANDOM STUFF I DO IN BETWEEN, I DONT HAVE TIME TO PUT MYSELF IN THE PLACE WHERE I CAN MOVE FORWARD. I KNOW THAT SOUNDS LIKE AN EXCUSE AND IF I REALLY WANTED IT, I WOULD MAKE TIME FOR IT. I REALLY NEED TO GET BACK INTO THAT HEADSPACE TO GO AND GET WHAT I WANT. SOME OF YOU WILL REMEMBER THAT I GAVE MYSELF 1 YEAR FROM MY BIRTHDAY LAST YEAR TO GET TO WHERE I WANT TO BE, BUT THAT IS LOOKING FARTHER AWAY AND LESS LIKELY I WILL BE THERE BY MY BIRTHDAY. EVERYONE HAS DREAMS OF SOMETHING. THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DREAMING AND MAKING IT A REALITY, IS ACTION. RIGHT NOW THERE IS A LACK OF ACTION...I REALLY JUST NEED TO GET BACK TO IT. ANOTHER THING IS WHAT YOU WANT CHANGES WITH TIME, WHAT I WANTED BEFORE IS NOT WHAT I WANT NOW AND SOMETIMES ONCE ITS PAST THAT TIME, WHAT I WANT I CANT HAVE... YA YA I KNOW THIS POST IS ALL OVER THE PLACE BUT IM REALLY JUST DUMPING EVERYTHING ON TO THIS RIGHT NOW. WHEN DO WE STOP WANTING WHAT WE WANT??? WHEN WE CANT HAVE IT? WHEN ITS GONE? WHEN YOU KNOW IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE? SOMETIMES THAT MAKES YOU JUST WANT IT MORE AND SOMETIMES IT JUST MAKES YOU REALIZE YOU JUST HAVE TO MOVE ON. I THINK THOSE WHO LET GO OF WHAT THEY WANT ARE ALL THOSE WHO GET STUCK IN WHERE THEY ARE. YOU CANT LET GO OF WHAT YOU WANT. I DONT KNOW... I JUST REALLY DONT KNOW WHAT I WANT ANYMORE. LIFE IS ALREADY CONFUSING ENOUGH, THEN THROW IN EVERYTHING THAT YOU WANT JUST MAKES IT EVEN WORSE. I REALLY JUST WANT TO GET AWAY FROM IT ALL AND REALLY THINK ABOUT WHAT I WANT AND WHERE I WANT TO BE. NO ONE CAN TELL YOU WHAT YOU WANT, NO ONE CAN DECIDE ANYTHING FOR YOU. I JUST NEED TO KNOW WHAT I WANT. WELL... I WISH YOU ALL FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU WANT, WHAT YOU REALLY WANT. SO, WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT?

REST OF LIFE IS WHAT YOU EXPECT. NOTHING REALLY NEW, KEEPING BUSY, KEEPING DISTRACTED. OH I WENT TO NIGHT MARKET :) THAT WAS NICE. BIG LINE UP TO GET IN AND THEY RAISED THE PRICE OF ENTRY AGAIN... IT WAS $3.25... THEN BOUGHT A BUNCH OF FOOD AND PLAYED THOSE CARNEY GAMES LOL. THAT QUARTER TOSSING ONTO A PLATE AND MAKE IT STAY IS THE EASIEST GAME EVER HAHA. WELL... AS LONG AS YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING HAHA. 1 ON PLATE WINS SMALL AND 4 WINS A LARGE. WELL I GOT 6 IN ABOUT 40 TRIES SOOOOO WINNER!!! ANYWAYS NOW IM OUT OF HERE. GOT PLACES TO GO, PEOPLE TO SEE, STUFF TO DO. THIS IS ALSO WHY THIS WEEKS POST IS SO EARLY. PEACE.

RT

THAT HEADSPACE...

ONCE AGAIN INEVITABLY YOU WILL REACH THAT HEADSPACE WHERE YOU WONDER... WONDER ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE DOING... WONDER WHERE YOU ARE GOING... WONDER WHAT IT ALL MEANS... ITS A NATURAL PART OF LIFE, AND IN EACH OF YOUR MINDS A STORM IS BREWING AND A BATTLE IS WAGED. HOW DO YOU LOOK FOR ANSWERS AND WHERE DO YOU DO THAT... ANSWERS THAT CANT BE ANSWERED BY ANYONE BUT YOURSELF. IVE WROTE ABOUT THIS BEFORE BUT LIKE CLOCKWORK THESE QUESTIONS WILL CREEP BACK INSIDE YOUR HEAD AND MAKE YOU WONDER... MAKE YOU QUESTION IT ALL... QUESTION EVERYTHING YOU KNOW AND EVERYTHING YOU ARE. NO ONE CAN ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS AND THATS WHATS FRUSTRATING... EVERYONE IS ON THEIR OWN PATH... THEIR OWN JOURNEY... AND NO ONE KNOWS WHERE IT BEGINS OR ENDS. SOME PEOPLE FIGURE IT ALL OUT QUICKLY AND OTHERS TAKE A LIFETIME TO KNOW, AND SOME WILL NEVER FIND OUT THE ANSWER. PEOPLE TAKE TIME OFF TO FIND THEMSELVES AND SOME ARE LUCKY ENOUGH TO FIND THE ANSWERS THEY ARE LOOKING FOR. ANSWERS CAN COME FROM ANYWHERE, IT MIGHT BE SOMETHING YOU READ OR SEE OR HEAR, IT COULD BE A MEMORY, OR IT COULD COME TO YOU IN A DREAM AND WHEN YOU WAKE UP, ALL IS CLEAR. ANSWERS COULD COME FROM INSPIRATION, PASSION, LOVE, HATE, HAPPINESS, SADNESS, AND A MILLION DIFFERENT FEELINGS AND PLACES. POETS AND PHILOSOPHERS HAVE ALL TRIED TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS AND EVEN TO THEM THE ANSWERS ARE NOT CLEAR. TOO MANY QUESTIONS IN LIFE AND TOO LITTLE TIME TO FIGURE IT ALL OUT AND WHAT IT ALL MEANS. I GUESS IL LOOK WITHIN AND SEE IF IT COMES TO ME IN MY DREAM TONIGHT. I JUST NEED TO GET LOST TO FIND MYSELF. IN THE END, DONT WE ALL JUST WANT ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS THAT WE HAVE???

RT