WHY?

ITS SUCH A SIMPLE QUESTION... BUT THE ANSWER IS ALWAYS SO COMPLICATED. IT IS ALWAYS THE QUESTION, AND NEVER THE ANSWER. PEOPLE HAVE SPENT THEIR LIFETIME TRYING TO UNDERSTAND IT AND TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION. ITS ALSO THE QUESTION WE ALWAYS ASK OURSELVES... WHY? IT IS THE BIGGEST MYSTERY IN THE UNIVERSE. IT KNOWS NO BOUNDS, IS NOT RESTRICTED BY ANYTHING, AND CROSSES ALL PLAINS. HOW CAN SUCH A SIMPLE QUESTION CAUSE SO MUCH HEADACHE? SO MUCH TROUBLE? SO MUCH... EVERYTHING! TO UNDERSTAND IT, IS TO UNDERSTAND YOURSELF, AND ITS NOT A SIMPLE TASK. SOMEHOW IT DICTATES EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING WE DO... SOMETIMES THERE JUST ISNT AN ANSWER, SOMETIMES ITS JUST THAT, ITS JUST WHAT IT IS, BUT WHY? AND TO THAT I ANSWER:

WHY NOT?

RT

WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT?

OKAY... SO I HAD LIKE 3 IDEAS FOR TOPIC THIS WEEK BUT THEN I SORTA FORGOT ABOUT THEM AND I DONT REALLY FEEL LIKE WRITING ABOUT WHAT I HAVE ON MY MIND SO THATS SAVED FOR ANOTHER DAY... UNTIL I FORGET ABOUT IT AGAIN HAHA. ANYWAYS... THIS HAS BEEN TOUCHED UPON IN THE PAST BUT LATELY ITS BEEN COMING BACK INTO MY HEAD AND IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT QUITE A BIT. SO WHAT DO YOU WANT? I MEAN WHAT DO I WANT? THATS THE HARDEST QUESTION TO ANSWER. IVE HAD AN IDEA OF WHAT I WANT FOR THE LONGEST TIME BUT THINGS KEEP HAPPENING AND CHANGING THAT WHAT I WANT KEEPS CHANGING ALONG WITH IT. RIGHT NOW, WHAT IS IT THAT I REALLY WANT? I DONT THINK THERES REALLY ANYTHING I REALLY WANT EXCEPT WHERE I REALLY WANT TO GET TO. EVERYTHING I WANT IS MORE OF THE MATERIALISTIC THING BUT DONT EVERYONE WANT MATERIALISTIC THINGS? THATS REALLY WANT WE WANT, BUT WHAT DO WE REALLY NEED? SOME PEOPLE WANT NICE CARS AND A BIG HOUSE BUT DO WE REALLY NEED IT? WHAT I REALLY WANT IS TO BE IN THE POSITION I WANT, DOING WHAT I WANT, AND NOT ANSWERING TO ANYONE. IM WORKING ON THAT BUT LATELY IT JUST SEEMS LIKE ITS BEEN GETTING PUSHED FURTHER AND FURTHER AWAY. THE MOTIVATION AND DETERMINATION IS STILL THERE, JUST THAT THE TIME AND ENERGY IS NOT. BETWEEN WORK, LIFE, FAMILY, AND ALL THE RANDOM STUFF I DO IN BETWEEN, I DONT HAVE TIME TO PUT MYSELF IN THE PLACE WHERE I CAN MOVE FORWARD. I KNOW THAT SOUNDS LIKE AN EXCUSE AND IF I REALLY WANTED IT, I WOULD MAKE TIME FOR IT. I REALLY NEED TO GET BACK INTO THAT HEADSPACE TO GO AND GET WHAT I WANT. SOME OF YOU WILL REMEMBER THAT I GAVE MYSELF 1 YEAR FROM MY BIRTHDAY LAST YEAR TO GET TO WHERE I WANT TO BE, BUT THAT IS LOOKING FARTHER AWAY AND LESS LIKELY I WILL BE THERE BY MY BIRTHDAY. EVERYONE HAS DREAMS OF SOMETHING. THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DREAMING AND MAKING IT A REALITY, IS ACTION. RIGHT NOW THERE IS A LACK OF ACTION...I REALLY JUST NEED TO GET BACK TO IT. ANOTHER THING IS WHAT YOU WANT CHANGES WITH TIME, WHAT I WANTED BEFORE IS NOT WHAT I WANT NOW AND SOMETIMES ONCE ITS PAST THAT TIME, WHAT I WANT I CANT HAVE... YA YA I KNOW THIS POST IS ALL OVER THE PLACE BUT IM REALLY JUST DUMPING EVERYTHING ON TO THIS RIGHT NOW. WHEN DO WE STOP WANTING WHAT WE WANT??? WHEN WE CANT HAVE IT? WHEN ITS GONE? WHEN YOU KNOW IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE? SOMETIMES THAT MAKES YOU JUST WANT IT MORE AND SOMETIMES IT JUST MAKES YOU REALIZE YOU JUST HAVE TO MOVE ON. I THINK THOSE WHO LET GO OF WHAT THEY WANT ARE ALL THOSE WHO GET STUCK IN WHERE THEY ARE. YOU CANT LET GO OF WHAT YOU WANT. I DONT KNOW... I JUST REALLY DONT KNOW WHAT I WANT ANYMORE. LIFE IS ALREADY CONFUSING ENOUGH, THEN THROW IN EVERYTHING THAT YOU WANT JUST MAKES IT EVEN WORSE. I REALLY JUST WANT TO GET AWAY FROM IT ALL AND REALLY THINK ABOUT WHAT I WANT AND WHERE I WANT TO BE. NO ONE CAN TELL YOU WHAT YOU WANT, NO ONE CAN DECIDE ANYTHING FOR YOU. I JUST NEED TO KNOW WHAT I WANT. WELL... I WISH YOU ALL FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU WANT, WHAT YOU REALLY WANT. SO, WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT?

REST OF LIFE IS WHAT YOU EXPECT. NOTHING REALLY NEW, KEEPING BUSY, KEEPING DISTRACTED. OH I WENT TO NIGHT MARKET :) THAT WAS NICE. BIG LINE UP TO GET IN AND THEY RAISED THE PRICE OF ENTRY AGAIN... IT WAS $3.25... THEN BOUGHT A BUNCH OF FOOD AND PLAYED THOSE CARNEY GAMES LOL. THAT QUARTER TOSSING ONTO A PLATE AND MAKE IT STAY IS THE EASIEST GAME EVER HAHA. WELL... AS LONG AS YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING HAHA. 1 ON PLATE WINS SMALL AND 4 WINS A LARGE. WELL I GOT 6 IN ABOUT 40 TRIES SOOOOO WINNER!!! ANYWAYS NOW IM OUT OF HERE. GOT PLACES TO GO, PEOPLE TO SEE, STUFF TO DO. THIS IS ALSO WHY THIS WEEKS POST IS SO EARLY. PEACE.

RT

THATS A WRAP FOLKS

THIS IS THE LAST POST OF 2015!!! CANT BELIEVE ITS ANOTHER YEAR AND LETS JUST SAY THIS REALLY IS SOME SORT OF END TO THE YEAR... GUESS ILL START OFF BY SAYING I RECENTLY... AND WHEN I SAY RECENTLY I MEAN SUNDAY... I GOT INTO A CAR ACCIDENT. WHILE DRIVING A FRIEND HOME SOME GUY DECIDES TO MAKE A LAST SECOND LEFT TURN... RIGHT INTO ME... AIRBAGS GO OFF AND IM SHAKEN AND PISSED. YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW PISSED OFF I WOULD BE!!! ANYWAYS I MAKE SURE MY FRIENDS OK THEN GET OUT AND SEE THAT MY CAR IS DONE. SO I CALL THE COPS AND IT TURNS INTO THIS BIG THING. DEALING WITH THIS AT 3AM IS NOT FUN. ANYWAYS HAVE IT ALL FIGURED OUT AND NOW IM JUST DEALING WITH ALL THE AFTERMATH STUFF. THIS IS WHAT I HATE... THE HASSLE OF THE WHOLE THING!!! I GOTTA CALL PEOPLE, WRITE STUFF, SEND STUFF, AND SEE PEOPLE. ITS ALREADY TAKEN UP A FEW DAYS OF MY TIME AND ON TOP OF IT ALL IM INJURED!!! NOW PLACES ARE HURTING AND I HAVE TO FREAKING DEAL WITH THIS BULLCRAP. OH AND ON TOP OF IT ALL SINCE THE CARS PRETTY SURE TOTALLED I HAVE TO GO LOOK TO BUY A NEW CAR... PROBLEM IS THERE ISNT MANY CARS I LIKE RIGHT NOW... SOOOOO THIS IS JUST NICE AND DANDY. THERES TOO MUCH TO SAY ABOUT THIS BUT IM JUST NOT IN THE MOOD FOR ANY OF THIS.

HOW WAS MY HOLIDAY AND CHRISTMAS??? WELL... SORTA RUINED BY THAT BUT BEFORE THAT IT WAS NICE. JUST WENT OVER TO AUNTS PLACE AND HAD DINNER. I TROLLED MY COUSIN AND WHEN SHE REALLY FOUND OUT WHAT I GOT HER SHE WAS PISSED!!! IT WAS FUNNY BUT MAN SHE WASNT HAPPY... NOT AT ALL LOL. SAW SOME FRIENDS HERE AND THERE SO THAT WAS NICE.

JUST LIKE THE END OF EVERY YEAR ITS TIME FOR THE HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS YEAR:

• GOT PROMOTED AT WORK
• 1ST FULL TIME JOB THAT I HELD FOR A FULL YEAR FROM BEGINNING TO END
• 1ST VACATION ON A FULL TIME JOB
• WENT TO VISIT GRANDMA, FRIENDS, AND FAMILY IN HONG KONG
• GAVE MYSELF A GOAL AND A DEADLINE FOR ACHIEVING IT, WHICH IS STILL IN PROGRESS
• WAS SINGLE THE WHOLE YEAR
• DID WHATEVER I WANTED THAT MADE ME HAPPY
• KEPT THIS BLOG GOING EVERY WEEK FOR ANOTHER YEAR... CANT BELIEVE THIS BLOG HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR 4 YEARS NOW... 
• CHALLENGED MYSELF TO DO THE JOURNAL ENTRY A DAY CHALLENGE AGAIN :) SO NOW YOU CAN ASK ME WHAT I HAVE DONE IN THE PAST 2 YEARS AND I CAN ACTUALLY TELL YOU LOL

LOOKING FORWARD I KNOW WORK IS GOING TO CONTINUE TO BE BUSY. I KNOW IM GOING TO CONTINUE WHAT I AM WORKING TOWARDS. I KNOW THAT NOTHING WORTH IT IS GOING TO BE EASY. I KNOW ITS GOING TO BE A LOT OF HARD WORK COMING. I CAN ONLY HOPE THAT EVERYTHING I AM WORKING FOR WORKS OUT. 

THIS REALLY BRINGS ME TO THE QUESTION OF WHETHER OR NOT I WILL KEEP THIS BLOG GOING... I REALLY DONT KNOW... 4 YEARS... EVERY WEEK FOR 4 YEARS... WITHOUT FAIL... THAT OVER 200 POSTS IVE WRITTEN!!! IVE ALREADY CUT BACK ON THE PICTURES BECAUSE IT WAS JUST WAY TOO MUCH WORK TO HAVE THEM UPLOADED AND INSERTED AND EVERYTHING. LAST YEAR I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO JUST POST HERE AND THERE WHENEVER I WANT... YET IT SEEMS LIKE I HAVE SURVIVED ANOTHER YEAR. I GUESS EVERYTHING WILL BE REVEALED ALL IN GOOD TIME LOL. 

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO FOR THE NEW YEAR??? PROB JUST HAND OUT WITH SOME FRIENDS. NOTHING BIG, I NEVER ACTUALLY LIKED BIG PARTIES LOL. FUNNY EH.

HOPE 2016 WILL START BETTER THAN THE WAY IT ENDED!!! ITS GOING TO BE A GOOD YEAR :) I CAN FEEL IT. WITH THAT I WISH EVERYONE AND YOUR FAMILY A HAPPY NEW YEAR. SEE YOU ALL NEXT YEAR. 

RT