LOOKING FORWARD... CANT WAIT...

EVERYONE HAS AT ONE POINT OR ANOTHER LOOK FORWARD TO OR COULDNT WAIT FOR SOMETHING. THE RESULT OF THAT IS EITHER OF SADNESS/DISAPPOINTMENT OR OF HAPPINESS/PURE JOY. THERES NO POINT IN JUST BEING OK WITH IT SINCE YOU ALREADY HYPED IT UP SO MUCH THAT IT WOULD JUST FEELS LIKE YOU WASTED TIME IF YOU ONLY FELT OK. WHY DO WE SOMETIMES PUT THINGS SO HIGH UP ONLY TO HAVE US REALIZE THAT IT HAS SUNKEN SO LOW? WE ALL WANT IT, WE ALL THINK WE NEED IT, WE ALL THINK WE DESERVE IT. WHO MAKES THIS DECISION THAT WE SHOULD GET WHAT WE GET? I MEAN WE REALLY ONLY GET WHAT WE PUT IN RIGHT??? OF COURSE THERE ARE THOSE THAT LUCK OUT AND GET MORE THAN WHAT THEY DESERVE OR JUST HAVE THINGS HANDED TO THEM, BUT MAJORITY OF PEOPLE JUST GET WHAT THEY GET. SO WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU DESERVE AND WHY DO YOU THINK THAT... I GUESS ITS NATURAL TO ONLY WANT THE BEST FOR YOURSELF. NO ONE WANTS TO WAIT OR UNTIL THEY ACTUALLY BELIEVE THEY DESERVE IT. YOU KNOW... ORIGINALLY I WAS GOING TO WRITE ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE BUT THEN I STARTED THIS TITLE AND EVENTUALLY IM NOT EVEN SURE THAT IT MAKES SENSE OR IS EVEN RELATED TO THE FIRST PART ANYMORE. THE TITLE IS A LITTLE CONFUSING TOO I SUPPOSE. YOU CAN TAKE IT AS LOOKING FORWARD TO SOMETHING AND CANT WAIT FOR IT TO HAPPEN, OR YOU CAN TAKE IT AS YOU WANT TO MOVE ON. RIGHT NOW I DONT EVEN KNOW WHICH ONE IT IS ANYMORE... I GUESS THERES ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT... AND IM GOING HAVE TO WAIT TO SEE WHICH IT IS. 

SO IM NOT EVEN QUITE SURE THE PARAGRAPH UP TOP MAKES SENSE... I PASSED OUT QUITE A FEW TIMES WRITING IT. WORKS BEEN GETTING BETTER AND I JUST CANT WAIT TIL THESE LAST FEW THINGS ARE TAKEN CARE OF SO I CAN HAVE SOME MORE TIME. FOOTBALL??? WELL... THE PAST WEEKEND WAS A MUST WIN SO WE CAN MAKE PLAYOFFS FOR SURE... LETS JUST SAY WE DIDNT DO AS WELL AS WE WOULD HAVE LIKED. WE WERE SHORT PLAYERS AND THOSE WERE OUR FAST GUYS TOO... SO THAT HURT US. NOW ITS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE FOR US TO MAKE IT SINCE WE NEED 1 TEAM TO WIN, 1 TEAM TO LOSE, AND OH YA... WE NEED TO WIN AS WELL. IF ANYTHING ELSE HAPPENS THEN WE WOULD NEED TO WIN AS WELL. THE ISSUE IS THAT WE PLAY THE #1 RANKED TEAM TWICE AND THE TEAM THAT WE ARE IN A RACE AGAINST IS PLAYING THE BOTTOM BOTTOM RANKED TEAM. THAT BOTTOM TEAM EVEN FORFEITED THEIR FIRST MEET AND THEY GOT EASY POINTS. THAT BOTTOM TEAM HASNT WON AND I THINK ITS ABOUT TIME FOR THEM TO :) HAHA THEN WE CAN ACTUALLY HAVE A CHANCE OF MAKING IT. JUST WATCH THEM FORFEIT AGAIN... THEY DONT CARE ANYMORE SO ITS LOOKING LIKE WE SCREWED :( SIGH. WHO KNOWS THOUGH :) WE CAN STILL MAKE IT. REST OF LIFE IS FINE FOR NOW. STILL THINKING OF WHERE I SHOULD GO FOR VACA... ANY SUGGESTIONS ANYONE? WELL WHEN IM NOT TIRED OR LAZY IL ACTUALLY WRITE A FULL POST. UNTIL THEN... GOODNIGHT.

RT 

BEEN THINKING... BEEN PLANNING... WHATS NEXT

A CONSTANT THOUGHT THAT KEEPS RUNNING THROUGH MY MIND IS WHATS NEXT... IVE BEEN THINKING AND IVE BEEN PLANNING BUT I CANT REALLY FIGURE IT OUT. CURRENTLY EVERYTHING IS GOING GOOD AND IM IN A GREAT PLACE IN MY LIFE FINALLY BUT IM ALWAYS WONDERING WHATS NEXT... YOU KNOW HOW IN THE OLD INTERVIEW DAYS EVERYONE ASKS YOU "WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN 5 YEAR?" THAT QUESTION IS SO HARD TO ANSWER. OF COURSE IN AN INTERVIEW YOU ALWAYS ANSWER THAT YOU SEE YOURSELF IN A MANAGEMENT ROLE OR EXECUTIVE LEVEL BLA BLA BLA AND PERHAPS ITS TRUE, BUT HOW MANY OF US CAN REALLY SAY WHERE WE WILL BE IN 5 YEARS. WE CANT EVEN TELL YOU WHERE WE WOULD BE IN A YEAR. SO MUCH CAN CHANGE IN A YEAR, A MONTH, A DAY, A MINUTE... SURE YOU CAN TRY TO PLAN THINGS OUT AND THATS WHAT IVE BEEN TRYING TO DO, BUT THERES JUST TOO MANY VARIABLES, TOO MANY QUESTIONS, TOO MANY DECISIONS TO MAKE TO REALLY KNOW. IF I LOOK BACK 5 YEARS AND THINK IF I HAD ANY IDEA THAT I WOULD END UP WHERE I CURRENTLY AM NOW THE ANSWER WOULD BE NO. I REALLY HAD NO IDEA WHERE I WOULD END UP... I HAD A PLAN AND HAD HOPE TO END UP AT POINT BUT THINGS CHANGE. THE SAME COULD BE SAID ABOUT NOW LOOKING FORWARD AND TRYING TO SEE WHERE I WILL BE. ONCE AGAIN I HAVE A PLAN AND HOPES BUT WHO KNOWS IF ITS GOING TO CHANGE. IN A WAY THIS REALLY PISSES ME OFF NOT KNOWING. I JUST REALLY WANT TO KNOW IF THINGS WILL END UP THE WAY I THINK AND HOPE THEY WILL. 5 YEARS IS SUCH A LONG TIME AND SO MUCH CAN HAPPEN IN BETWEEN. MAYBE WHAT I THOUGHT CANT EVEN HAPPEN OR WONT OR SHOULDNT EVEN HAPPEN. WHO REALLY KNOWS... ONLY THING I DO KNOW IS DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO, TO GET TO WHERE YOU WANT TO BE, AND DONT LET ANYTHING STOP YOU. THERES NO POINT IN WAITING FOR 5 YEARS TO SEE IF YOU END UP WHERE YOU THINK YOU WILL END UP... START NOW AND MAKE SURE YOU END UP WHERE YOU SAID YOU WOULD END UP 5 YEARS AGO.

EVERYTHING ELSE? WORKS BETTER, EVERYTHING IS FINALLY FINISHING UP AND IT LOOKS LIKE NOT MUCH MORE OT :) PAST COUPLE OF MONTHS HAVE BEEN ROUGH... JUST TOO MUCH TO DO, BUT THE REST OF THE YEAR IS LOOKING GOOD AND ESPECIALLY GOOD SINCE ITS SUMMER TIME WOOOOOOOOOO. FOOTBALL IS GETTING INTENSE... PLAYING TO MAKE IT INTO THE PLAYOFFS RIGHT NOW AND LETS JUST SAY THE LAST GAME GOT REALLY REALLY LOUD AND ALMOST PHYSICAL... MULTIPLE TIMES... AND PEOPLE GOT KICKED OUT. SO NOW WE JUST CONCENTRATING ON FINISHING THE SEASON IN A PLAYOFF SPOT. THIS WEEK IS A MUST WIN NO MATTER WHAT AND WE GOT THIS!!! NOTHING IS GOING TO STOP US!!! I SAY NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOCCER SEASON IS OVER... TURNS OUT OUR VERY LAST GAME THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN JUST FOR FUN SINCE WE LOST THE QUARTER-FINALS WAS CANCELLED... THE FIELD WAS BOOKED FOR THE AUSTRALIAN NATIONAL SOCCER TEAM FOR PRACTICE... SURE... AND THE REST OF LIFE IS THE SAME. JUST HERE AND THERE DOING THIS AND THAT. ENJOY YOUR WEEK EVERYONE AND SEE YOU NEXT TIME.

RT